September 20, 2018

Set Your Dating GPS

You have two weeks for the ultimate road trip. You know you want to end up in Santa Barbara, visiting your old college friend and soaking in the Southern California groove. You are starting from San Francisco, with a rental car, a cooler full of iced tea, Fig Newtons, and grapes, and a GPS. You’ve […]

Flirting: 9 Basic Guidelines for the Mature Single

As she walked out of her neighborhood coffee place, Melissa was surprised when she suddenly realized she’d been flirting! There was a nice man in line ahead of her and it just…happened. Later she told me about it, “It just happened!” She went on to confide, “The biggest shock was realizing how attractive he found […]

Developing Self-Trust

“If you can’t trust me, who can you trust?” When I was growing up, that’s what our sketchy neighbor Mr. Dillard used to say all the time. Even as a kid I remember thinking, “I bet he doesn’t even trust himself.” I know I didn’t. A friend of mine made a really bad decision recently. […]

Seek CLARITY about You and Your Relationship Goals

Knowing what you don’t want will only take you so far. But how do we shift from thinking in the negative to thinking in the positive—with the confidence to know who we are and what we want out of life? Samuel had been in several not-right relationships. Probably about 5 by the time he was […]

6 Good Reasons to Date an Extrovert

Last week I talked about the beauty of a relationship with an introvert. Well, now it’s time to celebrate the extrovert. Perhaps less likely to be victims of stereotypes, extroverts are still often painted with broad strokes, and doing so misses many of the nuances of this special personality type. Don’t make the mistake of […]

6 Good Reasons to Date an Introvert

Susan Cain’s 2012 book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking, has gained huge popular acclaim and received attention from everyone from business leaders and psychologists to teachers, university presidents, and political activists. American culture is dominated by the “extrovert ideal” and yet without introverts, where would we be? We […]

Dating Advice: How to Stop Attracting the Wrong Type of Person

Congratulations! You have jumped back into the dating pool. Doing so takes guts and vision and a joyful, optimistic heart. In fact, your optimistic confidence that you will find Mr. or Ms. Right is totally justified. But maybe you are losing that optimistic outlook because you notice a recurring theme—as you attempt to enter serious […]

Asking for What You Need – Why You Should and Why It’s Hard

We are born fully programmed to ask for, and receive, what we need.  A baby just minutes old will turn its head expectantly, assuming its biological need for sustenance will be met promptly.  If it isn’t, the baby cries, and mama puts the little wiggleworm to her breast.  Feedback loop complete.  Easy, right? Well, yes, […]

What to Do Once You Know What You Know—Staying Too Long in a Relationship

Brita knew. But she didn’t. She woke up most days with a heaviness in her chest. A sense of unease, guilt, and hopelessness. How long had she had this feeling? Years. She was caught in the trap of staying too long in a bad relationship. Perry was exhausted all the time. He worried that his […]

The Pleasure of Your Company: Get Your Groove Back

“She entered her house and turned back to me for one last kiss, and to say, ‘I can’t imagine a better way to spend a Sunday than with you. Thank you for today.’” That’s the way my client, Nathaniel, ended his “perfect day” narrative. His story, written as “homework” between one of our sessions and […]