May 27, 2018

Seek CLARITY about You and Your Relationship Goals

Knowing what you don’t want will only take you so far. But how do we shift from thinking in the negative to thinking in the positive—with the confidence to know who we are and what we want out of life? Samuel had been in several not-right relationships. Probably about 5 by the time he was […]

6 Good Reasons to Date an Extrovert

Last week I talked about the beauty of a relationship with an introvert. Well, now it’s time to celebrate the extrovert. Perhaps less likely to be victims of stereotypes, extroverts are still often painted with broad strokes, and doing so misses many of the nuances of this special personality type. Don’t make the mistake of […]

6 Good Reasons to Date an Introvert

Susan Cain’s 2012 book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking, has gained huge popular acclaim and received attention from everyone from business leaders and psychologists to teachers, university presidents, and political activists. American culture is dominated by the “extrovert ideal” and yet without introverts, where would we be? We […]

Finding the Right Person—Four Truths

You’re not 20 anymore. You are long out of college and maybe long out of your last serious relationship. Unattached people are not milling about in every building you enter, and when you stand at the check-out line, the people within a decade of your age all have wedding rings, babies, or both. But do […]

Betty’s Practical Guide to Moving in Together

I have moving on-the-brain this week (since I’m moving into a new house myself) so wanted to write about the practical issues around moving in with your partner. For insights about how to arrive at this important decision (or not), and an overview of some of the issues involved, you can revisit some of my […]

New Relationship? New Holiday Traditions

The holiday season is one of sensory stimulation, excitement, stress, a range of emotions, traditions, and memories. Our memories can provide solace but also sadness, especially if they remind us of past relationships that did not work out. Rather than go all Grinchy Scrooge on the holidays, realize that there are always new traditions to […]

Should I Stay or Should I Go: What’s Your Tipping Point?

Relationships, even the best of them, require care and attention. If you are in a relationship and like most people, you have had to work on things. It’s like keeping your body healthy. You can’t ignore it and expect it to be in top form. But, if you’ve been in triage mode for a long […]

Interdependence vs. Codependence—It’s Okay to Have Needs

Kimia had been in several relationships that started out well, but eventually did not fulfill her. She invariably ended up feeling taken advantage of, and that her boyfriends did not really care deeply for her. I asked her, “Do you think you made it clear to them that you won’t tolerate disrespectful behavior and that […]

Vulnerability and Authenticity—Partners in Your Inner Life

Max seemed so perfect. When he would first meet a woman, he gave the impression of a truly accomplished, confident man. He had a “perfect life” – great job, nice car and house. He played a perfect golf game and he was good looking and in excellent shape. Why couldn’t he hold onto a relationship […]

Question: How can I end this streak of attracting narcissistic partners?

I’m very introverted by nature and not very good at reading people. In relationships I tend not to feel the need to lead hence I think I tend to attract narcissistic men. Needless to say my relationships all end very badly and dramatically because it takes time for me to figure the other person out. […]