August 23, 2019

Speak Up—The Truth is in There

All the giving-in, all the compromising in her relationship with Tom came from Jane. Pretty soon, no matter how absurd Tom’s whims, or how uncomfortable for her, Jane was saying “yes” to everything. Her fear that he’d walk out made her want to buy his loyalty with silence and acquiescence. In other words, since Jane […]

Interdependence vs. Codependence—It’s Okay to Have Needs

Kimia had been in several relationships that started out well, but eventually did not fulfill her. She invariably ended up feeling taken advantage of, and that her boyfriends did not really care deeply for her. I asked her, “Do you think you made it clear to them that you won’t tolerate disrespectful behavior and that […]

The Myth of Greener Grass

My client Quinton was never quite satisfied. Even when he was, clearly, satisfied, he always wondered if he could be more satisfied. He moved twice in one year because he found an apartment he liked better four months into his first lease. It was a mess, but he got “the apartment of his dreams.” Or […]

Role Models by Default: Don’t Let the Past Repeat Itself

How much of your relationship success or failure in love is rooted in your role models growing up? Perhaps more than you realize. Considering that our parents are our biggest role models in relationships, it is easy to see why we would unconsciously mirror their behavior, healthy or unhealthy. Have you ever wondered why an […]