June 25, 2018

Asking for What You Need – Why You Should and Why It’s Hard

We are born fully programmed to ask for, and receive, what we need.  A baby just minutes old will turn its head expectantly, assuming its biological need for sustenance will be met promptly.  If it isn’t, the baby cries, and mama puts the little wiggleworm to her breast.  Feedback loop complete.  Easy, right? Well, yes, […]

One in 7 Billion? The Truth about Soul Mates

The “soul mate” ideal harks back centuries. Anyone who has been deeply in love understands that feeling of inevitability that comes with an intense joining. There are two concepts that address this idealized form of love—soul mate and twin flame. Even if you have never seen the movie, Jerry Maguire, you are probably familiar with […]

First Impressions

Have you ever read the first page of a book in a bookstore (if you still buy books that way, that is!) and decided not to buy it?  It might have been a really great book, but you didn’t want to take the chance and spend the time to read 50 pages.  It takes at […]

Live together or Marry? 21st Century Options

A mere 50 years ago (which isn’t that long, really) everything was very different.  There was still a huge stigma on couples who chose to live together “out of wedlock” as it was called, and parents whose children did so white-knuckled the social embarrassment until they could finally send out those wedding announcements.  Aside from […]

“Going Steady” — Are You Ready to be Exclusive?

At one time, in our culture, “going steady” was the term for a commitment to an exclusive relationship without the finality of a marriage contract.  Whether you “wore his pin” or “gave her your ring” – usually high school – going steady was a statement.  We may not call it that any more, but deciding […]

Are You a Career Dater?

How to Get Back on Track to Your Goal of True Love In the 1997 movie Picture Perfect, Kevin Bacon plays the role of the quintessential career dater. He never “finds the one” and instead moves from one conquest or short term relationship to another. In fact, he is only interested in unavailable women. Though […]

Why are you dating?

Let me tell you about a rather ridiculous first experience on Match.com. A client of mine, Kate, had just signed up for online dating and did not know the first thing about the process. (She made one big mistake: she didn’t ask me!) So when on the first day someone sent her a message to […]