March 22, 2018

The Law of Attraction and Your Ideal Match

You may be one of many who grew up thinking that everyone has a soul mate out there and that a combination of chance and magic will (or won’t) bring together the people who are “meant to be.” Or, you may simply believe that it’s all a crap-shoot and when people find “good” matches, it’s […]

Too Good to be True: Some Facts about Narcissistic Personality Disorder

You may be hearing the word “narcissist” more and more these days. When words seem to burst onto the scene you may be worried that it’s just “buzz”—the latest fad, catch-word or culturally “chic” concept. But in fact, there is some serious speculation that narcissism is, in fact, on the rise. While that might be […]

Dating Advice: How to Stop Attracting the Wrong Type of Person

Congratulations! You have jumped back into the dating pool. Doing so takes guts and vision and a joyful, optimistic heart. In fact, your optimistic confidence that you will find Mr. or Ms. Right is totally justified. But maybe you are losing that optimistic outlook because you notice a recurring theme—as you attempt to enter serious […]

Asking for What You Need – Why You Should and Why It’s Hard

We are born fully programmed to ask for, and receive, what we need.  A baby just minutes old will turn its head expectantly, assuming its biological need for sustenance will be met promptly.  If it isn’t, the baby cries, and mama puts the little wiggleworm to her breast.  Feedback loop complete.  Easy, right? Well, yes, […]

What to Do Once You Know What You Know—Staying Too Long in a Relationship

Brita knew. But she didn’t. She woke up most days with a heaviness in her chest. A sense of unease, guilt, and hopelessness. How long had she had this feeling? Years. She was caught in the trap of staying too long in a bad relationship. Perry was exhausted all the time. He worried that his […]

The Pleasure of Your Company: Get Your Groove Back

“She entered her house and turned back to me for one last kiss, and to say, ‘I can’t imagine a better way to spend a Sunday than with you. Thank you for today.’” That’s the way my client, Nathaniel, ended his “perfect day” narrative. His story, written as “homework” between one of our sessions and […]

Finding the Right Person—Four Truths

You’re not 20 anymore. You are long out of college and maybe long out of your last serious relationship. Unattached people are not milling about in every building you enter, and when you stand at the check-out line, the people within a decade of your age all have wedding rings, babies, or both. But do […]

Red Flags: When a First Date Is a Last Date

Yay! You’ve made a connection on Match, Our Time, Bumble, or eHarmony. You are ready to meet. So much of that first date is going to be about the “indefinable” – the stuff you can’t really put into words. But believe me, there are some very good words to describe a terrific first date, from […]

Over-giving? Try Being Self-Centered Instead

It feels good to make someone else feel good, doesn’t it? But sometimes people can invest so much in pleasing others that they leave themselves in the dust. First, let’s look at some ways people-pleasing hurts everyone. Amy is in a destructive relationship with William and can’t figure out why she stays. William is entirely […]

Betty’s Practical Guide to Moving in Together

I have moving on-the-brain this week (since I’m moving into a new house myself) so wanted to write about the practical issues around moving in with your partner. For insights about how to arrive at this important decision (or not), and an overview of some of the issues involved, you can revisit some of my […]