October 21, 2018

Set Your Dating GPS

You have two weeks for the ultimate road trip. You know you want to end up in Santa Barbara, visiting your old college friend and soaking in the Southern California groove. You are starting from San Francisco, with a rental car, a cooler full of iced tea, Fig Newtons, and grapes, and a GPS. You’ve […]

Flirting: 9 Basic Guidelines for the Mature Single

As she walked out of her neighborhood coffee place, Melissa was surprised when she suddenly realized she’d been flirting! There was a nice man in line ahead of her and it just…happened. Later she told me about it, “It just happened!” She went on to confide, “The biggest shock was realizing how attractive he found […]

Character and Personality—Know the Difference

When Jesse first met Mariah, he was smitten. Who wouldn’t be? Mariah was bright and successful as a large animal vet who worked at a nearby university’s veterinarian school. He said to me once, “I mean she dedicated her life to animals. I thought for sure that meant something!” She seemed to feel as he […]

Speak Up—The Truth is in There

All the giving-in, all the compromising in her relationship with Tom came from Jane. Pretty soon, no matter how absurd Tom’s whims, or how uncomfortable for her, Jane was saying “yes” to everything. Her fear that he’d walk out made her want to buy his loyalty with silence and acquiescence. In other words, since Jane […]

Developing Self-Trust

“If you can’t trust me, who can you trust?” When I was growing up, that’s what our sketchy neighbor Mr. Dillard used to say all the time. Even as a kid I remember thinking, “I bet he doesn’t even trust himself.” I know I didn’t. A friend of mine made a really bad decision recently. […]

Seek CLARITY about You and Your Relationship Goals

Knowing what you don’t want will only take you so far. But how do we shift from thinking in the negative to thinking in the positive—with the confidence to know who we are and what we want out of life? Samuel had been in several not-right relationships. Probably about 5 by the time he was […]

6 Good Reasons to Date an Extrovert

Last week I talked about the beauty of a relationship with an introvert. Well, now it’s time to celebrate the extrovert. Perhaps less likely to be victims of stereotypes, extroverts are still often painted with broad strokes, and doing so misses many of the nuances of this special personality type. Don’t make the mistake of […]

6 Good Reasons to Date an Introvert

Susan Cain’s 2012 book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking, has gained huge popular acclaim and received attention from everyone from business leaders and psychologists to teachers, university presidents, and political activists. American culture is dominated by the “extrovert ideal” and yet without introverts, where would we be? We […]